Softball Heaven (NES-1989)

I always thought Softball was kind of lame. It seemed like baseball for retards. It wasn't until I met "Softball Heaven" that I learned how wonderful this sport could be.

You see, softball isn't just for girls and fat software engineers at the company picnic. No siree Bobby! It's played by animals, and monsters, and ninjas, and Mike Tyson. And you can play it on the edge of a cliff, or on a tropical island, or on some weird-ass school grounds!



If "Softball Heaven" was actually heaven, then I'd actually want to go there! I'd jump in front of a speeding car right now! Sadly, however, it's just a wonderful NES game from Japan. In "Softball Heaven" you get to pick from a huge selection of bizzaro characters like Frankenstein, a giant panda, a miner, some kinda devil-dude, and, yes, Mike Tyson.



The gamplay is pretty much the straight-up "curve the gamepad" NES-style baseball you'd expect. "Softball Heaven" also features the old "control all the fielders at the same time" defense, so you'll give up cheap inside the park homeruns as you hopelessly try to chase down a routine flyball.

None of that really matter though. You're not playing this game for precise controls and life-like baseball simulation. You're playing this because you want to see Mike Tyson pitch to a tiger.



And that, my friends, is exactly what's missing from games today. Where are the weird animal/monster/disgraced boxer sports games? Where is "Softball Heaven" and how do I get there?